A ‘Thank You’ to the Golden State Warriors, Who Just Ruined Their Franchise to Save Us From Andrew Wiggins…

Photo: Fox Sports

If there is a basketball heaven.. the Golden State Warriors are guaranteed a spot up in the clouds, after what happened today. Steve Kerr, Steph Curry and Klay Thompson laid their franchise on the train tracks, tied it up with thick reliable rope, and watched its insides spray everywhere, as the train of Andrew Wiggins splattered it into a state of no future.

And they did it for us. They sacrificed their own franchise to save the Minnesota Timberwolves. Much like The story of Abraham in the Old Testament, they were willing to do whatever it took to give the Timberwolves a 47th opportunity to save the organization…. even if it meant dragging their own franchise to the top of the mountain, knife in-hand, and slaughtering it in sacrificial ceremony to the basketball gods.

Not only did they take Andrew Wiggins… but in return, they gave us D’Angelo Russell, who Gersson Rosas has been stalking since this summer, and only required one 1st round pick to seal the deal…

They didn’t have to do it. There is nothing about this trade that benefits the Golden State Warriors, yet Steve Kerr & Co. pulled the trigger. When nobody else felt bad for us, Steve Kerr was there. He put his foot down and said, “somebody should help this terrible franchise and their desperate fanbase… why shouldn’t it be me?”

And he was right… Timberwolves fans have been locked up in a dungeon with no windows, by Glen Taylor for nearly two decades. Meanwhile, he’s fucking over our own basketball legends in business dealings.

Minnesota basketball needed a hero… We needed someone to save us from Glen Taylor.

So, Steve Kerr put on his cape and flew in to save the day. This deserves martyrdom in the state of Minnesota. We should name him a Saint and give him a couple streets… maybe a building or two. We’ve been looking for a new name that will stick for “Lake Calhoun”…

What about “Lake Steve Kerr”?

I’d be happy to have my tax dollars go toward that cause… Think about it. Most of us were ready to give up on basketball in this state. The same state that founded the Lakers Franchise and once employed a PoBO legend like David Kahn… had now fallen so so far.

But, there is hope now.

Andrew Wiggins is gone. We will never see him in a Minnesota Timberwolves jersey again unless we are watching depressing re-runs during the scariest of our nightmares…

No more spin move highlights that make us wonder where he’s been all game (or all season)… No more 16 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 statlines… and no more halftime interviews that would be better filled with Ben Stein documentaries on algae growth in Lake Mille Lacs…

And it’s all thanks to the Golden State Warriors… who just ruined their franchise, in order to save our Minnesota Timberwolves.

From the bottom of our cold Minnesota hearts, Thank you.

We laughed, cried and danced on YouTube today after this franchise-saving news broke:

Eric Strack | Minnesota Sports Fan

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