What Kind of Fan Are You? Examining the 5 Different Types of Minnesota Vikings Fan

Hailing from England, I (and others) often get criticized by some of Vikings faithful, for not being “real fans”. I’m sure other fanbases see the same thing. We didn’t grow up with a Vikings bottle in our mouths so we can’t be real fans…. even if we now stay up until 5am just to watch Rick Spielman trade out of the 3^rd round so he can accumulate 254 more draft picks for day 3…

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Anyway… I digress. The criticism got me thinking. What kind of fans are there? So, I made a very scientific and factual list with a lot of references to its factual nature. Where do you fit in?

1. “It’s in your genes man!” fans

Basically your grandfather’s father’s grandfather was a supporter of the team. Everyone you grew up with supported this team. You didn’t have a choice. You were wearing purple before you were shitting brown. (the first shit is always black – how scary was the first time you saw that? Fucking hell. Anyway…) 

So, you didn’t get a chance to shop around. You accepted this as reality. Some of you even go around claiming to be a real fan because you were made to support this team. Just remember, if your mother had been promiscuous across the border after too many “Black Golds” one evening, you’d be wearing green and finding your sister/cousin/aunt attractive right now

2. Impress your friends/other half fans

There are no good local teams to support (can’t relate but will go on) so NFL isn’t really your thing. You go to your local bar, order the usual and gaze across to see who you can try your shitty pick up lines on. There is a 5/10 across the bar. You turn back. Drink a few more. Now, she/he is an 8/10. With blurry eyes you spot them wearing a Chiefs hat. “OK Google, tell me about the Chiefs”. After a quick whiz around Wikipedia you build up the courage and shout with “How about them Chieeeefffssss?”

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Fast forward 15 years: you have 3 kids, lots of debt and a gut that’s competing against Andy Reid. But if you drink enough, he/she will always be an 8. 

3. Bandwagon fans

Let’s face it. The shittest part of every fanbase. Are you really a fan if you can’t accept losing? I’m looking at you, Patriots fans… You only like a team when they are winning. Then the losing began, and you move on to the next shiny team that is now dominating its competition. How can you even enjoy winning to full satisfaction, if you can’t accept losing? Surely you need to build up the thirst? Anyway, bandwagon fans are *cunts. That’s it

4. Masochist fans

Some people like being tied up and have their face slapped by a dick all their lives. The most sadistic fans, being those who pick the worst team because “they want to earn it”. Being Vikings fans, we can empathize to a degree… but fuck, it’s time for Lions fans to give up. It’s not going to happen. You had your chances with Sanders, Johnson and Stafford. You are not going to win anything – just pick another team already. 

5. Random fans

Sometimes stars just align and you end up being drawn to a team. Or more accurately the team is drawn by you! Grab the popcorn…

The year was 2009. The season was winter. On Sunday evenings (yes evenings!) with nothing else on the old widescreen we flick the channels and see some cheerleaders. — You have my attention —

Before you know it, you’re googling american football rules and studying up on the names of these cheerleaders… I mean… players. Then, after a few weeks, you decide that you need a team to cheer for. You and your housemates throw some team names into a hat (yes, a physical hat!)…. and start pulling.

First name: Cowboys – Nah, Fuck you.

Second name: Eagles – Fool! Eat horse shit!

Third name: Vikings – Brett Favre (Vikings legend and ‘There’s Something About Mary’ star) carving up every team on his way to the super bowl. It is always going to be like this, right?

And there you have it… There are many reasons why you are a fan of a team. You are either born in the right place (or wrong – unlucky San Diego) or you are drawn to them. Whatever the reason, we have to remember one thing, we win together and we lose together. And most off all, we enjoy the journey together!

SKOL

Sanka | Minnesota Sports Fan