If the MLB Went WWE… Who Represents for Their Team in a Royal Rumble?

Pittsburgh Pirates

Josh Bell

Height: 6’4” Weight: 250

If there was ever a man on the Pirates who could stand up to Amir Garrett, that man would be Josh Bell. He is a large individual with lots of power. No doubt in my mind that when the gates open, he could turn into Jack Sparrow while bringing home a title to Pittsburgh. He would also have a series of shitty movies made about his life.

Milwaukee Brewers

Ryan Braun

Height: 6’2” Weight: 205

Ryan Braun goes by the nickname of The Hebrew Hammer. If we are being honest here, that is a pretty badass nickname. Now if this battle happened years ago when he was juicing, I would have given him a fighting chance. The roid rage alone could have brought him to victory, but this is not a perfect world. The Hebrew Hammer will not be able to slug his way out of this match.

St. Louis Cardinals

Brett Cecil

Height: 6’3” Weight: 235

There is something about baseball players and sport glasses. In a perfect world, Brett Cecil and Julio Urias are the last men standing. But like I said earlier, this isn’t a perfect world otherwise we would be watching live Major League baseball tonight. Sorry again, but I just don’t see Brett doing well.

Cincinnati Reds

2019 PitchingNinja “Golden Gloves” Award for Most Likely to Fight the Entire Opposing Dugout. ?

Amir Garrett pic.twitter.com/B85MEJv8fC

— Rob Friedman (@PitchingNinja) November 7, 2019

Amir Garrett

Height: 6’1” Weight: 228

Remember that time last year when a pitcher tried to fight the entire Pittsburgh Pirates roster on his own? That man was Amir Garrett. Twitter fingers, Trevor Bauer may have had his life saved by this man more than a few times. Garrett fears no man and is a sure favorite to win the belt. 

Chicago Cubs

Kyle Schwarber

Height: 6’0” Weight: 235

As I scrolled through the Cubs’ roster to find a suitable candidate for such an occasion, I could not help but realize how soft this team looks on paper. These guys would get slaughtered if the entire roster had to fight. One man stood alone however, and that man is Kyle Schwarber. The man has power , and has persevered through a torn ACL to bring the Cubs a World Series trophy in 2016. He is a bear amongst Cubs.