Rocco Baldelli Has a Lot of Feelings Regarding the Minnesota Twins’ Tangy Rally Sausage

Minnesota Twins
Mitch Stringer-USA TODAY Sports

Suddenly, after winning seven games in a row, the Minnesota Twins look like a legitimate MLB team again. Now, some pessimists out there might say the Twins’ surge is simply the product of playing bad teams.

Considering the Twins’ seven wins have come against two of the five worst teams in baseball, the aforementioned pessimist crowd may have a strong case.

But that’s bologna.

Actually, it’s not bologna; it’s sausage, specifically the ‘summer tangy’ variety.

Minnesota Twins’ Summer Sausage Taking Over Ballparks

According to Twins manager Rocco Baldelli, the ballclub officially has a ‘Rally Sausage’, and it’s all thanks to Ryan Jeffers.

“It’s a summer tangy sausage, is what it is. It’s bringing us a lot of hits.. and runs.. and stuff. So I’m all for it. It’s a substantial package, you know, of sausage that Jeffers has been carrying around in his bag and throwing at people when we score runs and hit homers. So, I’m all for it.”

Minnesota Twins manager Rocco Baldelli dropping knowledge on the ‘Rally Sausage’

We’re all for it too. Are you kidding me, winning eight of their last nine games while seeing the offense average over eight runs per game during their win streak? Order a whole pallet of sausages for all we care.

As you can tell, Baldelli is at a loss for words. He doesn’t even know how to describe the magic that this rally summer sausage contains. But his biggest concern is that this unrefrigerated summer sausage is growing into a mold-infested monster that can’t be stopped.

“I’m slightly concerned… I’m not even an adult, but I’m slightly concerned as like more of an adult than maybe some of the people in the other room.. that the package is gonna open up, and the thing hasn’t been refrigerated in… many days. And there’s no doubt that when that thing opens up, whoever’s touching it is in deep trouble. There’s no doubt in my mind that we are carrying around something that is very, very unhealthy to the human body.”

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However, some wise observers, who we’d bet are in possession of some unrefrigerated summer sausage right now, have pointed out that summer sausage is a bionic food that need not be refrigerated to be enjoyed — today, tomorrow, next month, whenever you get the itch is fine.

It may not be a rally cap or a rally monkey, but we’re ready to embrace the rally sausage sensation that has taken over the Minnesota Twins clubhouse. Whatever it takes for this team to keep blasting home runs like the Bomba Squad, even if it means causing anxiety for Baldelli every time he sees a “substantial package” of summer sausage flying through the air toward his next red-hot hitter.

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