The Bartolo Colon Experiment Will Likely Be a Joke NOT Genius

Oh, the things we have seen as Minnesota Sports Fans, over the years.

From love boats, to Favre sightings, to blown opportunities, to Moss ups and downs (I’m talking about moons if you didn’t catch that, packer fans)….

One thing is FOR SURE: Minnesota teams LOVE signing supposedly over-the-hill players, with former skill levels that once ranged from above average to star quality.

We can argue about why Minnesota teams are so infatuated with the elderly former star.  That is for another day.

The Twins did it again last week. They signed Bartolo Colon. When this guy was in his prime, I was rolling Heelys through the Little Falls Middle School and my dad was playing small-town ball in Randall, MN, mopping up high-school hitters who couldn’t hit a knuckle ball. Now my Heelys have long-gone away while my middle school frame hasn’t. My Dad is almost 50. And not the Jaromir Jagr “almost 50”.

But Bartolo is still the same size… and still in the MLB… for now.

The Colon signing is shaping up to be one of the signings that we will be laughing at once the experiment ends. You know, the one we talk about next year as the Twins are coming into their 2018 season? Sounds something like this:

“Well their rotation can’t be any worse. Last year they brought up 473 starting pitchers total. They even brought Bartolo Colon in after Atlanta let him go! Remember, he threw 80 mph and had a heart attack on the mound.”

That is where I feel like this is going. Colon threw 1 game in (AAA) Rochester after Atlanta let him go. He couldn’t get through 4 innings. He gave up 4 runs on 4 hits and 3 walks in (AAA)… NOT MLB.

Do they have any other choice?

Good choices? No. Not without a big trade. Nonetheless, choices? Yes… well kind of.

They could leave Felix Jorge up. Or, they could call up Dillon Gee, who will likely be done with the Twins Organization, if he loses his spot to Colon on the 40-man roster. Gee is something like 7-0 with -3 runs allowed in his last 2 games in Rochester.

But are Gee or Jorge better options? I don’t know. We have been pulling “hot” (AAA) pitchers up all year. They haven’t worked out.

So, Colon it is. Bring your radar guns. The cheap ones. They don’t need to reach 90 mph.

Maybe… hopefully… I am wrong. Maybe he will revert back to last year’s form (when he was 63 years old and not 64). The form that got him his $12M deal this year from the Braves? Wait. They didn’t really pay him that did they? Guess so… (Spotrac – Colon) If he can revert to that… or most of it… some of it?, he would join the likes of Shannon Stewart, Warren Moon, Jeff George, Greg Jennings… Brett Favre? Ok… enough of the sarcasm. But he would serve as another over-the-hill veteran that was able to help a Minnesota team.

I worry this move is more destined to be talked about alongside the likes of the Second Randy Moss/Kevin Garnett Experiments, Donovan McNabb, “insert your veteran disappointment choice here”.

The nice thing is that we usually find out VERY QUICKLY how these signings are going to turn out. So, we wait patiently for Tuesday.

In the meantime, I will be buying one of these Rochester Plates – Bartolo Colon Shirts.

Eric Strack
Minnesota Sports Fan



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