Twins Reportedly Falling Short in Zack Wheeler Negotiations, in Classic New-Age Twins Fashion

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I saw this coming yesterday and tried to send out one last smoke signal to the front office before the Minnesota Twins Organization turned its back, once again, on a rabbid fanbase just begging them to spend enough money… just once… to land a bona fide #1 starting pitcher. But, in what is turning into “classic new-age Twins fashion” they came up short, after hanging in the race to the very end. I’m so fucking sick of “just missing” on these big time pitchers. That doesn’t make us feel better anymore. I just don’t know how you are going to show your face in public if you don’t get one of these pitchers.  Where  are going to spend all of the money you have overfilling your pockets…

The starting rotation is the only wounded part of the team, bleeding so badly leading into the playoffs last year, that we were just a New York Yankees kill shot away from being swept again. Sure, the bats didn’t show up, falling silent for the first time all season…. but it wouldn’t have mattered because our pitching staff was busy pissing their collective jock straps on the mound at Yankee Stadium, with the season on the line.

Thinking about it makes me want to vomit.

I went on a rambling dissertation about this yesterday, in a blog about the Wheeler rumors, comparing it to mentally abusive parenting. I tweeted that metaphor out earlier because I like to pat myself on the back and I thought it was one of my better ones.

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So, what are the Minnesota Twins going to do now? The time is ticking…. Fire up the trade machine or just bust open your fucking wallet, shock the world, and go get Stephen Strasburg or Garrett Cole. Why the fuck not? Just one time….. just once… change the narrative.

We are fucking begging you. I am fucking begging you. Please.

Eric Strack | Minnesota Sports Fan

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