Eagles Fan Strips Team of All Dignity in 16+ Minute Rant That is a Sure Internet HOF Lock

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This sure-fire internet HOF lock, of this Philadelphia Eagles fan’s 16+ minute rant, has so much to unpack that I don’t even know where to start. Let’s just say, I learned a lot about the Philadelphia Eagles players, both on the field, and off… This guy uses more sexual metaphors in these 16 minutes, than I have ever used on Twitter. I kind of feel like a pussy… But then again, this is a perfect representation of how fucked up the entire Eagles fanbase is… and I don’t think I’d want anything to do with my own comparison. This dumb fuck just saw his team win a Super Bowl 1.5 years ago and he is still this mad…. take a fucking Xanex and relax, holy aliens…

If the Vikings won a Super Bowl, I might turn into all of the old Twins fans that still live in a 5-year span from 1987-1992, where Minnesota was on top of the baseball world, as if the team hasn’t absolutely sucked ever since. Not this Eagles guy, though. 

This is the guy that’s had 7 sit-down conversations with his manager at work about how starting fights over sports teams won’t be tolerated (which isn’t true because Philly wouldn’t have a workforce anymore) and says “fuck you” to the McDonalds drive thru attendant because he had to pull into the “waiting for my food” space while others behind him went through.

Then again, what the fuck am I talking about? I just bet a Philly on twitter, that if the Eagles make it farther than the Vikings this season, I’ll get their logo tattooed to my ass cheek… but I also feel a lot better about that bet, after watching this guy rip that team to shreds, player by player.

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Eric Strack | Minnesota Sports Fan

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