5-6 Foot Boa Constrictor Found Terrorizing Burnsville Streets

PHOTO: @BurnsvillePD Twitter
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PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

We don’t break outside of the Minnesota sports world very often, here at Minnesota Sports Fan, but sometimes there are emergencies that call for all media outlets to warn the surrounding public of the immediate dangers it is under. There is was a massive Colombian Red Tail (Common) Boa Constrictor that was just found terrorizing the streets of Burnsville Minnesota….

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While the Minnesota public is worried about what the President is tweeting and who the Twins are going to trade for, this massive monster was combing the streets for its next victim. Sure, the Star Tribune did actual reporting on this story and claims the snake is “friendly” and doesn’t mind being handled….

I’m sure that’s what this monster’s owner thought before it’s friendly pet boa at him or her alive. They’re searching for this thing’s owner, as if they are going to find it… I don’t see a distended stomach so the owner has probably been dead for weeks and this bastard is just waiting for the next victim stupid enough to sleep around it.

I thought I was safe in Minnesota, from everything besides frost bite in the winter and West Nile Virus in the summer. Nope, now my kids can’t play in the street without having to worry about being consumed by giant snakes.

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via GIPHY

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Eric Strack | Minnesota Sports Fan

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